I'm sorry that I haven't written in a week and a half, though I'm sure none of you particularly mourned my absence, but I was busy pitying myself over a recent turn of events both for myself and the rest of the world.
You see, not so terribly long ago a horrific earthquake struck Haiti, a country with which I empathize because after Poland, it has the worst luck of any country on the planet. I don't particularly empathize with the people involved because they should have learned their lesson twenty or thirty disasters ago. And besides, plenty of other people do empathize with them, so I feel like the quota is full. Among these plentiful other people, is a girl with whom I have been talking amicably for the past several weeks.
I say talking amicably, but really what I mean is that we were standing together on the first stepping stone of the path across the raging river of my flaws, a path which eventually ends with me dropping my pants and her fellating me out of pity (rather than running away while screaming 'I said 'No!'').
Again my words may be misconstrued. My rationale for mentioning the pity involved in the potential fellatio is not that she would be inspired to pity by my nude Fundip stick (as part of the purpose of the stepping stone path is to get her past typical expectations), but rather because everything that this particular girl does is to some extent motivated by pity.
Which is why she is going to Haiti to aide in the relief effort. This damn Earthquake has sunk not only an entire country and its inhabitants, but also the next stepping stone in my quest for a bed partner. How could God do this to me?
No comments:
Post a Comment